African Joke: All Secrets Out

Religious leader

Three religious leaders get together and decide to confess their faults and weaknesses to each other so that each prays for the other. 

The first says: “My problem is money. I love money too much and I often steal from offerings and tithes. Pray for me because I am not proud of it.”

Relaxed and at ease, the second says: “Mine is women. I love women too much and when I see a woman, I want to sleep with her. I have slept with all the women in my parish. Pray to help me.

The third starts crying. The other two take two hours to calm him down. Then he finally speaks in tears: “My problem is kpakpato. I don’t know how to keep a secret; so everything you just said, tomorrow everyone will know, even if you pray for me!


The original in French is found on . Adapted and Translated to English by Dr. Y.

African Joke: 25 Years of Marriage

Marriage_25 years_1
25 Years of marriage

Henry and Christine have just celebrated 25 years of marriage.

And their union having been mostly peaceful, Henry ventures to ask the famous question of trust to his wife, “Darling, have you ever cheated on me?”

Well,” answers Christine, “since you want to know… Yes, I have cheated on you three times. The first time, it was when you needed a loan from the bank, do you remember? No bank would trust you enough to lend you anything, then one day, the commercial director of the bank came to our house and signed the contract without asking any questions …

Oh! You did that for me…,” Henry exclaims,

It is thus thanks to that we have become rich. And the second time?”

Marriage_25 years_2
Silver union: 25 years of marriage

The second time,” explains Christine, “it was when you had caught that highly contagious disease and no doctor would come near you. One day, a surgeon from the hospital suddenly came to operate on you…

Ah darling, you really saved my life, that time…” remarks Henry before adding:

I am so lucky to have married you. And the third time?

The last time, it was when you ran for president of our city’s soccer club. Do you remember? You were missing 42 votes to be elected…


I wonder what would have happened had the wife asked the husband? When you ask tough questions, be prepared for the answers! Smile and have a great day!

The original in French is found on . Adapted and Translated to English by Dr. Y.

African Joke : Psalm 1 – Verse 29

While flirting with a girl he met, Tom caresses her thigh.


The girl tells him, “Handsome, remember psalm 1, verse 29

Tom apologizes, but 20 min later, he starts again. The girl repeats again “psalm 1, verse 29.

That night, when he gets home, he opens his bible to find psalm 1, verse 29.

Here is what the psalm says: “Go further in your search and you will find glory.”

Tom, astounded says, “Damn! I am so unlucky!”

P.S.: I had you … right? If you open your Bible, you will see that the first psalm in the Book of Psalms does not have 29 verses but only 6. Smile for the day is bright!

The original in French is found on . Adapted and Translated to English by Dr. Y.

African Joke: The Beggar

A street beggar (Source:

A beggar goes to complain to his donor in these terms:

My brother, 2 years ago, you were giving me 1000 F. Last year you gave me 500 F, and this year 300 F. You should tell me, what is causing this? Or did I do something to you?”

The man to respond: “No problem really… simply that 2 years ago, I was single. I got married last year, and this year, my wife gave me a beautiful big healthy baby.”

The beggar, offended, bursts out: “Seriously! So it is my money you are taking to feed your family?”

The original in French is found on . Translated to English by Dr. Y.

African Joke: The Sharp Father

African Venus, a sculpture by Charles-Henri Joseph Cordier 1851 (Source: Walters Art Museum)
African Venus, a sculpture by Charles-Henri Joseph Cordier 1851 (Source: Walters Art Museum)

A teenage girl is seated next to her father in the house when she suddenly sees her boyfriend approaching. Knowing that her father is very strict, she decides to strike a conversation with the boyfriend.

Girl: Have you come to borrow the book titled “DAD IS IN THE HOUSE?” by Jean Pliya.

Boyfriend: No, I want your book of songs called “WHERE SHOULD I WAIT FOR YOU?” by Bernard Dadié.

Chinua Achebe
Chinua Achebe

Girl: Oh. I don’t have it, but I have the one titled “UNDER THE MANGO TREE” by Chinua Achebe.

Boyfriend: Good. But please don’t forget to bring “I WILL CALL YOU IN 5 MINUTES” by Aimé Césaire, when you come to school.

Girl: Ok. I will bring Olympe Bhêly-Quenum’s new book “I WILL NEVER ABANDON YOU.”

The father (to his daughter): these are a lot of books, will he read them all?

Severin Cecile Abega
“Les Bimanes” by Severin Cecile Abega

Girl: Yes. He is good and excellent reader.

The father: Ok. Don’t forget to take to him the book titled, “I AM NOT STUPID, I UNDERSTOOD EVERYTHING” by Cheikh Hamidou Kane, and also the one which is called “BE READY TO GET MARRIED IF YOU GET PREGNANT” by Séverin Cécile Abega.


Note: Jean Pliya, Bernard Dadié, Chinua Achebe, Aimé Césaire, Olympe Bhêly-Quenum, Séverin Cécile Abega, and Cheikh Hamidou Kane are all great African writers.

African Joke : Toto has Changed !!!

A tall tree

Toto is being chased by 2 men in the forest.

Tired, he climbs up a tree to hide; The 2 bandits unable to find him anymore, one says to the other:

I know him; he is so stupid; if we call him twice he will answer.

Toto on the tree yells:

Call me even 100 times, you will see if I answer… you think that I am still that same old Toto? I have changed!


Originally published on in French. Translated to English by Dr. Y.

African Joke: Let’s be Clever, rather than Barbaric

Woman worried1
Woman worried (Source:

It is 11PM and a woman worries because her husband is not yet back. She decides to call him.

The wife: “Hello

A woman: “Yes hello

The wife: “Can I please talk to the owner of the phone?

A woman: “No. He is resting. We just finished making love.

The wife: “Can I leave him a message.

A woman: “Talk… you never know.”

The wife: “Tell him that it is his doctor who is calling to make sure that he is taking his antiretrovirals, his antibiotics against chlamydia and the hepatitis B treatment.

african couple morning sex
Couple in bed (Source:

A woman: “What? He has all these illnesses?

The wife: “Yes, and you know how new patients have the tendencies to be negligent; we have to follow up with them all the time.

A woman: “Idiot ! Rise up ! Dirty AIDS sufferer ! Jerk ! Pussy thief ! Get out of my place ! My God oooo, I am dead!”

The wife, quietly: “Thank you Lord, he is coming home.”

The original in French is found on . Translated to English by Dr. Y.

African Joke: Water in the Carburetor


– “The car cannot start,” says a woman to her husband. “There is water in the carburetor.”

– “Water is the carburetor? But how could you possibly know that? You don’t even know what is a carburetor!

– “I tell you again,” says the woman, “there is water in the carburetor. I am absolutely certain of it.

Car in the swimming pool

– “Ok. I will go see what I can do. Where is the car?”

– “In the swimming pool…

The original in French is found on . Translated to English by Dr. Y.

African Joke: During a Marriage Ceremony …

Wedding Ceremony

During a marriage ceremony, the pastor asks the famous question: “if anyone can show just cause why this couple cannot lawfully be joined together in matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace!”

All of a sudden, a pregnant woman rises up. She is holding the hand of a 5-year-old child. The flies stop buzzing. The bride faints. The groom is sweating profusely. The pastor is wondering why on earth he had to ask that question…

Pregnant woman

The pregnant woman starts walking down the aisle with her 5-year-old. All the hearts are pounding. Once in front of the pastor, she says, “It is hard to hear anything at the back… so I had to come to the front!”

African Joke: Stop Dozing in Church!

Dozing off_4
Dozing off

A lady dozed off during the pastor’s preaching… Suddenly, she wakes up and hears the pastor say “Stand up.”


She gets up and sees the entire assembly turn toward her. Everyone is in shock, including her husband who is sitting next to her. She looks around and realizes that she is the only one standing. The pastor looks at her and tells her, “Thank you Madam, please remain standing, we will pray for you … We already have one person standing. She is courageous… Anyone else? Nobody? Let me repeat myself, in case you did not hear me well. I asked you to stand if you are unfaithful, if you are committing adultery; if you cannot stop cheating on your partner at each of his missions… Stand up so that we can pray for you.

The lady fainted!

The lady standing fainted.


Those of you sleeping in church… watch out!

The original in French is found on . Translated to English by Dr. Y.