African Joke: Copied to Perfection

The professor collects the students’ homework:

Toto says to his friend John:

    • Thank you John, one more homework not done, and the professor was going to call my parents!
    • Yup. I don’t really like this. I hope you did not copy word-for-word?
    • You can be certain that I copied everything to perfection! and when I say everything, I mean everything!

The professor returns the homework, looks, and all of a sudden says:

  • Toto, how come I do not have your homework? and how come I have two copies from John?

 

African Joke: The Phone

iPhone7_1
iPhone 7 (Apple.com)

Just last week, markangelcomedy made a video about this joke I published here on my blog. I wanted to share it again, as it is very funny, and salute the work done on markangelcomedy, and its comedians. In the video, it is not a teacher in a classroom, but an uncle and his nieces; and it is not an iPhone, but a phone (albeit very nice). Watch and laugh your eyes out! Enjoy! The text for the original joke is below.

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In class, the teacher says: “I will give my iPhone 7 to whoever will answer my question correctly.”

Question: “How many men did Jesus feed in Bethsaida?”

Toto raises his hand and answers, “5000 men, sir”(Luke 9: 10-17).

The teacher: “Good answer Toto,” and the teacher gives him in iPhone 7.

The teacher then tells Toto: “Ask me a question Toto, and you give me back my iPhone 7 if I give you the correct answer.”

Toto, all smiles, asks him, “Sir, could you please give me the names of those 5000 men?”😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Laugh a little to chase away the stress!

The original in French is found on Nouchi.com (for iPhone 6S). Translated to English by Dr. Y. Afrolegends.com

Blague Africaine: Lire le Journal … / African Joke: On reading the Newspaper

Beer

Il y a cinq ans que j’ai lu dans la presse que l’alcool tue ; j’ai arrêté de boire. Il y a un an que j’ai lu dans un journal que le tabac tue ; j’ai arrêté de fumer. Cette année, je lis que faire l’amour tue? ; là que faire ? Ah moi, j’ai arrêté de lire journal dèh ; c’est mieux.

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tobaccoFive years ago, I read in the press that alcohol kills; I stopped drinking. A year ago, I read in the newspaper that tobacco kills; I stopped smoking. This year, I read that making love kills; then what to do? Ah! me, I decided to stop reading the newspaper; it is better.

African Joke: the iPhone 7

iPhone7_1
iPhone 7 (Apple.com)

In class, the teacher says: “I will give my iPhone 7 to whoever will answer my question correctly.”

Question: “How many men did Jesus feed in Bethsaida?

Toto raises his hand and answers, “5000 men, sir“(Luke 9: 10-17).

The teacher: “Good answer Toto“, and the teacher gives him in iPhone 7.

The teacher then tells Toto: “Ask me a question Toto, and you give me back my iPhone 7 if I give you the correct answer.”

Toto, all smiles, asks him, “Sir, could you please give me the names of those 5000 men?“😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Laugh a little to chase away the stress!

The original in French is found on Nouchi.com (for iPhone 6S). Translated to English by Dr. Y. Afrolegends.com

 

African Joke – 15 millions

Money3
Bag of money

A man sold his land for 15 millions. Since it was the weekend, he did not deposit the money at the bank. Not trusting his wife and kids, he decided to go to church with his 15 millions in his bag.

He stood up to go take the communion and when he returned to his seat to pray, his bag had disappeared in the midst of church.

All of a sudden he spits the communion and start screaming …

Angry face1
Angry

Thieves!! Murderers!! My mother is a witch!! You will all die!! My Fetish will kill you all!! Sakpata voodoo on you, heviesso voodoo on you, you will never see tomorrow !!! You will all go to hell, including your priest !!! Kanga bah.

Everyone is stupefied! Suddenly a little boy calls him, saying:

Papa, you are not at the right seat. Your bag is just here, two rows behind.

The original in French is found on Nouchi.com . Translated to English by Dr. Y. Afrolegends.com

African Joke – Efferalgan

IMG_0499
Seashore (View of the Atlantic ocean from the Door of No Return, Goree, Senegal)

An American, a Belgian, and an Ivorian meet a genie by the sea shore. He tells them:

Throw anything in the water. If I find it, you will die. If I don’t find it, I die, and the person who win will become as rich as Croesus.

The American throws a tiny metallic marble into the water. The genie finds it, and he dies.

The Belgian throws a small transparent nylon thread. The genie finds it, and the Belgian dies.

efferalgan
Effervescent tablet (Source: Quora.com)

The Ivorian throws something into the water. The genie looks, and looks, and looks; but does not find the object. Tired, he asks: “Djo, what have you thrown in the water?

The guy replies: “A piece of Efferalgan (effervescent pill), buddy!

The original in French is found on Nouchi.com. Translated to English by Dr. Y., Afrolegends.com

 

 

Blague Africaine: Un Belge en Afrique / African Joke: A Belgian in Africa

Crocodile
Crocodile

Un belge visite l’Afrique avec un guide pygmé. Soudain, les voilà arrivés devant un fleuve.
Le pigmé : Bouanana, on ni peut pas t’ave’se’, !!
Belge : Et pourquoi une fois, il y a des pierres, il n’y a qu’a marcher dessus!
P: NONON Boouanana, c’est pas des pie’rres, ces des c’ocodilles, bouanan dis-donc !!!
B: Allez une fois, tu m’en racontes hein ?
P: NONON Bouanana, rega’de
Et le pigmé lance un caillou sur ce qui ressemble à une pierre. Soudain, le crocodile se réveille, ouvre grand la gueule et fonce vers nos hommes.
Le pigmé en se sauvant : Bouanan, dis dont cou’s, y va te BOUFFER !!
Et le belge bien calme au bord du fleuve : Eh là une fois, c’est pas moi qui ai jetté la pierre !!!!

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running-iconA Belgian visits Africa with a pygmy guide. All of a sudden, they come near a river.

Pygmy: Bwanana, we can’t cross !!
Belgian : and why not? once there are rocks, we only have to walk on it! 
P: NO NO Bwanana, these are not stones, these are crocodiles !!!
B: Oh come’ on, you are just joking, right?
P: NO NO Bwanana, look
And the pygmy throws a pebble on what looks like rocks. Suddenly, the crocodile wakes up, open its mouth wide, and rushes after our men.
The pygmy, while running away: Bwanana, run, it will eat you!!
And the Belgian, calmly staying on the river’s shores: For once, I am not the one who threw the pebble !!!! 

 

Blague Africaine: la dictée / African Joke: The Spelling Test

bicycleLe maître commence la dictée. “Le titre est: ‘la bicyclette’.” Tamo, un élève, demande à son voisin Toto, “psss Toto, pardon aide-moi, j’ai oublié où on met le ‘y’ … c’est à quel niveau, byciclette ou bicyclette?”

Toto de répondre, “ah kah, laisse-nous ça, tu refléchis trop. Moi j’ai déjà écrit ‘vélo“!

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The teacher starts the dictation test. “The title is, ‘the bicycle’.” Tamo, a student, asks his neighbor Toto, “psss, Toto, please help me, I have forgotten where the ‘y’ goes … is it bycicle or bicycle, which one is it?”

Toto to answer, “ah kah… you think too much. I have already written ‘bike!”

Blague Africaine: Les Jumeaux / African Joke: The Twins

Beer1
Beer

Deux hommes discutent dans un bar.
T’es né où toi ?
A Paris
C’est marrant ça ! Moi aussi, et en quelle année ?
En 1973
C’est drôle ça ! Moi aussi, et quel mois ?
Janvier
Ça alors ! Moi aussi, et quel jour ?
Le 28
INCROYABLE ! Moi aussi !!...
Et là, un troisième homme entre dans le bar et s’adresse au patron
Salut patron, quoi de neuf ?
Oh pas grand chose, juste les jumeaux qui sont encore bourrés…

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twin-boys1Two men are talking at a bar.
Where were you born?
Paris
That’s funny! Me too, and what year?
In 1973
That’s funny! Me too, and what month?
January
Wow! Me too, and what day?
The 28th
Unbelievable! Me too!! …
A third man then enters a bar and talks to the owner,
Hello boss, what’s up?
Not much, just the twins who are drunk again …